Leak

I showed my principal the letter a student of mine wrote me.  I wrote about her letter yesterday(Day 47).  My principal had me sit down in his office and told me that I was different.  I had changed.

I told him I was different.  Three years ago, I thought that God wanted to use me to help Stanley(Day 1)... but He also wanted to use Stanley to change me.

I had never tried to love a student unconditionally and relentlessly,  especially a low student, until Stanley came along.  My motivation always had a large element of selfishness.  I still self-evaluate my motivation constantly.  I know when I'm self-centered, that is when I am impatient or rude or self-seeking.  Pride is my enemy.  It constantly stalks me.  It causes me to continually remember my need for God's grace, love and wisdom.  I leak... God give me these but I have to continually return to the cross for more.  I am so glad I leak.  God designed all of us to leak.  God used Stanley to teach me this and so much more.

"In my weakness, His strengthen is made perfect."  This is exactly where God wants me to be.  He wants me to have a keen awareness of my weaknesses and seek His grace, love and wisdom to be filled with His power to be able to do what is impossible for me to do without Him.  Prov. 3: 5,6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path."  These 2 verses are my life verses.  They guide me.  I think about these verses all the time and they influence and impact my life.

I want to live like I believe what I say I believe... and I need God's enabling help to do this.

I've changed.

Day 48