The Donut Story

This is such a weird story.  All of the stories I tell my students from my past are true... although I may embellish the facts slightly.

Years ago, I taught at Marcus Whitman JH.  I coached wrestling with a science teacher there.  I was on my way down to his room during my planning period to discuss the days practice schedule.  I had just started eating a donut.  It was a Bismarck... my favorite... they are cream filled and have a chocolate glaze.  I walked into his office which then had a door into his classroom.  As I reached for the door, I suddenly was hit, out of no where, with this clear and wild idea... 'Scrape out some of the filling from the donut with your finger and wipe it off on the back of your neck.'

I paused.  I didn't know where this idea had come from or why I should do such a weird thing.  Then suddenly, I just went with the impulse and obeyed.  I set my donut down on his desk in his office and walked into his room.

The class was full.  The students were all taking a test.  My assistant coach was at the front of the class, standing behind a full length lab table, and he was grading tests.

I still didn't know why I had put some filling from my donut on the back of my neck!

We stood there quietly talking about what we were going to do in practice that day.  Suddenly it hit me!  I knew why I had done it!  I had a reason and I now had a plan!

I suddenly acclaimed in a loud voice, "Man!  I have the biggest ZIT on the back of my neck!"

The students were all startled and they looked up at me in annoyance and disgust.  They quickly refocused their efforts back on their tests and left us up at the front quietly talking again, without them paying any attention to us.

I was waiting, like a skilled fisherman I was waiting and letting them take the bait:)  and they did!

After a few minutes more of talking, I loudly acclaimed, "I can't take it any longer.  This ZIT is got to be ready to pop.  I feels like it must be the size of Mt Rainier.  I am going to try to pop it."

To their horror, they watch as I reached up and acted like I was popping a huge zit on the back of my neck.  I think I must have done a good job of acting because they all went ballistic.  They all started yelling at me to get out of there.  They were grossed out... BUT I WAS FAR FROM DONE!

I raised my hand and quickly quieted them down.

If the room had a PANIC METER,  I had not yet PEGGED IT.

I held up my right index finger that I had just used to scrape off the filling from the back of my neck.  It held a large amount of filling, but to the students, it looked like the puss from the WORLDS BIGGEST ZIT.  They went even crazier.  They were repulsed and they were yelling and waving their arms at me to leave.

I wasn't finished yet... :)

I raised my hand again, and again they quieted down.  I said, "This is science.  I wonder what this stuff actually tastes like?"  And I slowly started raising my finger to my mouth, while trying to act like I was not looking forward to it.

The students were horrified, but they couldn't help themselves.  They sat there in shock and watched... like watching a train wreck.  As my finger got closer and closer to my mouth, they got more and more agitated.  My tongue finally touch the puss(filling) and the place went crazy,  but again I raised my hand and they paused to listen and watch in horror as I said, "Hey, this stuff isn't that bad." and I quickly stuck my finger in my mouth and ate all of the 'puss.'

Now the place went absolutely nuts.  The panic meter had been pegged.  They were throwing there tests, books, pencils, pens, lunches, and even backpacks at me.  They were yelling at me to get out of there.  It was total pandemonium.

I weaved and dodged and made it to the door to the office.  I went in and grabbed my donut and came right back into the room.  The students had stopped throwing things at me because they didn't have anything left to throw.  They were still yelling at me.  I showed them my donut and scooped out some of the filling and at it.  I even turned and showed them the back of my neck, but they were still going crazy.  Finally, I took a big bite of my donut and turned to the teacher and smiled and said, "Hey, have a great day."  I turned to the class and yelled, "Good luck on your test."  I walked out of that room smiling as my assistant hung his head in disbelief in a room that look like a tornado had gone through.

It was a legendary moment as years later students would still want to hear about the donut story.

Day 109