Here is the last of my 4 posters. I teach my students that the number one rule to solving problems is to focus on what they know and believe and start asking questions they can answer. If they can't answer the question they are either asking the wrong question or asking the correct question but in the wrong order or they are not using the correct problem solving strategy to enable them to answer the question.
Problem solving is a necessary skill not only for math or even school, but for LIFE.
I often share personal examples or stories to make a point. One example I often use when discussing problem solving, with my students, is my marriage. I've been happily married for almost 32 years now. This has not happened on accident or without trials. I thank God for my wife. She is an amazing woman. She always smiles, has a servant heart and continually breathes words of encouragement into me. I am very blessed to be her husband... but we have had times where we both have had hurt feelings. It is during these times, when it is VERY important for me to be great at solving problems. I have done this by focusing on what I have done wrong... not on what I think she has done wrong. I don't focus on what I don't know or understand because that only makes the problem seem bigger. I am not saying I'm perfect here, but I am saying that I need to take responsibility for my mistakes, own them and see how hurtful they where to my wife. I need to do this even when I feel like she is 99.995% responsible for the problem we are having. I have to humble myself and do all I can to reconcile and restore our relationship. I think this is what Jesus meant by 'laying down your life.' I simply don't want one brick to get laid between my wife and I. I focus on what I know and believe: I love her; I need to treat her respectfully; I am thankful God brought her into my life; I don't want us to have ANY unresolved conflict; If she has hurt feelings, then they are ALWAYS right!!
This is how I told her we will fight... but we haven't always done it like this. I have her sit on my lap and tell me everything I've done wrong. It is hard to yell at someone when they are sitting on your lap. During this time it is essential I make no excuses or offer any defense. I simply want to understand how I've hurt her. Then I take full responsibility for my actions and humbly ask for her forgiveness and try to not repeat that offense again. Sometimes, however, she wants to stay mad for a while and I refuse to go on like everything is normal. There have even been times when she went to bed WITHOUT things being resolved!!! These have been the most difficult times. During these times, I sleep on the floor or couch. Always, sometime during the night, she wakes up and finds me and asks what is wrong. Then I tell her that I want us to being fully reconciled. So far we always have and I pray that God will continue to give us the grace to always reconcile in the future.
I ask my students, "How many of you want to be divorced or married to someone you don't respect or who you even hate?" Funny... no one ever raises their hand when I ask that question, yet millions of couples end up in this very situation. This happens because we are all selfish prideful people... some more then others. I ask God to help me love, cherish, honor and be an encouragement to my wife. I need His help!! I desperately want to be a great husband and have a life-long loving relationship with my wife. When we have problems, I want us to be great at solving them. I tell my students that it is important to have a plan, in advance, for how you are going to fight. This needs to be a plan where both people treat each other respectfully. Both people take responsibility. Both people forgive. I tell the boys in my classes that they need to be the MAN and lay down their life for their wife. I tell the girls that if the young man they are interested in some day has a hard time saying he is sorry and struggles with being really selfish... HE IS A LOSER. They should not think about trying to fix him but instead...FLEE.
Day 10
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