Eleven

I counted wrong.  The other day I said I had 10 students left who had to pass the perfect test on linear functions... there are 11.  Many of these will pass, but a few are really low and such a challenge to me.  I have such an urge to simply give up on them.  It is like they are screaming at me... 'Leave me alone!!  Give up on me!!"  There is such a clear feeling that I care more than they do.  This is so frustrating to me and causes me to want to lash out at them and/or give up.  I don't know why they are so resistant to help and change.  There has to be a lot of heart ache and pain stored up in these really low students.  I can't imagine what it must feel like to come to school and fail day after day, week after week, year after year.  Every math teacher in their past has given up on them and these struggling students are simply expecting the same from me.  I need God's help.  I need to love, encourage, challenge, exhort and motivate these students relentlessly and unconditionally.

Last night my wife and I watched this show on Netflix called 'The call of the Midwife.'  In the show, there was a new midwife that was very clumsy and awkward.  She was struggling with self-confidence and everyone expected her to fail.  It looked like she was going to fail.  But one doctor spoke a word of encouragement to her after he watched her help a patient deal with her fears.  That little bit of encouragement changed everything for that new midwife.  She was struggling during a breech delivery and then rallied her confidence and successfully delivered the baby.  The nurse that was the toughest on her,  had shown up to take over, but was happily disappointed to see the new midwife do a great job.

I want to keep speaking words of encouragement to each of my students.  The tough part is... some keep: failing, struggling, refusing help, resisting change, remaining closed off.  I need to keep staying in the place of HOPE.  I need to flee that place called EXPECTATION.

WELCOMED TO MY WORLD.

Day 76